The Other Side of No // Wednesday Wisdom

other side of no

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The Other Side of No // Wednesday Wisdom October 17

Hearing a no is something that I am all too familiar with. I am thankful that I have heard a lot of yeses in my life, but I am even more thankful for all the noes. In the moment, a no can be disheartening…especially when you are working so hard for a yes. The other side of no is a beautiful thing. The way I see it, a no is a character builder. It allows you to think, discern, reevaluate, execute, and if you are like me…pray. There have been many times that my “Type A” personality has left me disappointed when those noes come around. I am a planner. I mean day by day, hour by hour type of planner. To-do lists are my jam and not to mention they never end with a mind like mine! “Resting” isn’t in my mind ever and I would like to call myself a hard worker. I am sure you can imagine what a no can feel like to a person like me, a lot of disappointment.  I used to let a no define my self worth, “why can’t this happen?” “what did I do wrong?” “what don’t they like about me?” “why isnt this happening, God?!” but every time the purpose of that no is revealed, God smiles at me…because by then I realize all those noes were the best blessings.

One of the biggest noes in my life was when I was a Freshmen in college and a high school relationship ended and ended messy. It was bound to happen. We grew up to be two completely different people with different paths and many mistakes were made on both ends. At the time, I was crushed. Utterly crushed. I had put my whole self worth into one person which was not healthy in the slightest. I literally felt like my world ended and loving someone else would be impossible. I was hurt that bad. I started doing things that weren’t me and I started to gain weight due to the amount of stress I put on myself. I knew the relationship had to end but I was still upset. Upset with myself, with him, and even with God a little. Why was God allowing me to hurt so bad? To get hurt so bad? To feel the feelings I was feeling? But I let it go…and I cried like a baby at the alter of church one Sunday just pleading for help; to let go, to be happy, and to move forward. Then that week, I met Brody. I kid you not! The other side of that no was Brody. I forever will cherish that no, and even the pain that came with it. It taught me so incredibly much and I often go back to that life lesson when I need to remind myself that God uses every situation for our good. He doesn’t cause the hurt, the evil, and the tragedies…He isn’t that kind of God. He is merciful, loving, powerful and mighty and His hands can and will be seen in every situation if we allow Him.

Don’t let a no bitter your heart. Allow God in and ask why this no is in place. Allow that no to flourish into a beautiful yes in God’s way and timing. Brody and I are in a waiting season of a few things…and the wait is the hardest. A million questions pop up in my head along with a million scenarios, but I am thankful I married a man that leads our family with God and for God. I need Brody more than ever during these type of seasons. I know the outcome will be beautiful but until the door is opened, we will praise Him in the hallway.

I am reading a beautiful devotional right now called 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs. Day 55 discusses saying no. Downs describes her love for the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; 3 men who refused to bow to a King that were thrown into a blazing furnace (Daniel 3). She details how brave this was of these men; to stand there among their peers while everyone else was kneeling knowing the consequence. If you know the story, you know that God protected them in the furnace but even if He didn’t, these men were willing to die anyway. Saying no isn’t always a bad thing…and neither is hearing a no. God uses every situation for our good. We need to believe in that!


But even if he does not [rescue us], we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.

Daniel 3:18 NIV

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