A Letter To My First Born
My Noelia Nicole,
Where do I even begin? Our days where you are my only baby are coming to a close and I cannot help but think about how joyous the last 45 months with you as my only has been. You have changed me in more ways than I can explain. From the inside out, you have transformed me into the woman that I am today, and I am forever grateful that God chose me to be your Mommy.
We have experienced so much together. From life changes, moves, many life highs and many life lows…you were there. More importantly, you were there when my heart was forever changed…because it was with you that I was scared. Scared to be a Mommy, scared to change my life, scared to change your Daddy and I’s dynamic, and I was not very accepting at first. When I found out I was carrying you, I was very lost. Your Daddy and I were just babies ourselves. But you know what? The moment I saw you on that ultrasound for the first time my life was forever changed. God was there (like He always is) whispering in my ear, “You see? Trust me. For I know the true desires of your heart”. From then on I was forever changed. My heart…my spirit…my overall being was just different. Carrying you and nurturing you in my womb was my greatest honor. Once you arrived into this world and I held you in my arms for the first time I knew that my greatest purpose was revealed to me; I was created to be a Mother. YOUR mother. Those blue eyes…the dimples on your cheeks perfectly placed like your Daddy’s…the way you loved to be held…you had our hearts before you were even created, Noelia. You came at the most perfect time, for God’s timing is always perfect.
Your first year was one of the most special years of my life. Seeing what God created through your Daddy and I was beyond beautiful. From hearing you babble for the first time, to hearing you mutter “Dadaaa” “Mamaaa”, I loved it all. Breastfeeding you was my favorite, as it was yours. The way you would look up at me during and smile mid gulp melted my heart! It was our time. A time that no one else could experience with you but me. You ended up calling it “woo-woo” time once you started talking. I have no idea where you got “woo-woo” from but it made everyone laugh when they heard you say it! Aside from your physical characteristics and achievements that your Daddy and I loved so much during that year, nothing spoke more volumes than the radiance of your character. YOU are special. I don’t just say that because I am your Mother, or out of a biased opinion…I mean that. You are special, Noelia. There is something about you that screams “World Changer”. You radiate God’s Love in every possible way. Not many 3 year olds can connect with the world around them like you do, Baby. You have done and said things that have made us more than proud, and we cannot wait to tell you of those things one day. You have inspired me in more ways that I never knew a small child could…but that’s just you. You are brave. You are strong. Your determined will to do all things sets you a part. Your Daddy and I are so excited to watch you become the woman that God created you to be. The things you will accomplish, the people you will touch, the Mother you will be one day…we are honored to be there for the journey.
As our time together as just you and I closes, I want you to know how much I love you. There is nothing in this world that you can do that would change my love for you, Noelia. Not a single mistake, fight, words exchanged one day will change the love that I have for you. You are the one that made me a Mommy. The first one to know what my heartbeat sounds like from the inside, the first one to call me Mama, and the first to show me what Agape love looks like. I never fully understood the Lord’s love for us until I had you. These next few weeks and months are going to be different for us, but in the best way possible. You will be the BEST Big Sister. No one loves like you love and your sister is extremely blessed to have you by her side forever. You have always made us proud but I know in the weeks, months, and years to come you will even more so.
You shine brighter than anyone I know, Baby. I love you. We are always in this together.